Confession = Freedom

"An implicit confession is almost as bad as an implicit faith; wicked men commonly confess their sins by wholesale, We are all sinners; but the true penitent confess their sins by retail" - Thomas Brooks

...Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. - James 5:16

Some time ago, in the men's group I'm a part of, we began to look at the spiritual discipline of confession. It sounded stiff, harsh and a bit "old school" at first. But then we began to put it into practice. We quickly realized that confession created an atmosphere of transparency and authenticity. Two qualities that began to lead us to a much better understanding and acceptance of each other. We discovered, and were freed by, the realization that we all shared many of the same struggles and weaknesses. This transparency and authenticity began to spill over into our marriages, our relationships with our children and into our individual relationships with God. We no longer had to pretend to be something we're not when we're around each other. We discovered (the very strange truth) that when a person drops their guard (amidst other loving Christians) and begins being vulnerable, we're more deeply drawn to that person..?? We weren't repulsed by each other's sin and shortcomings at all. Of course, how could we be repulsed by each other as we're discovering that we're all the same... In fact, what we find to be a bit unattractive now are "posers" or people who are pretending to be something they're not. We discovered that transparency and authenticity destroy the footholds of self doubt and fear. Two horribly destructive forces that often lead to further emotional and spiritual isolation (from God and from others). We discovered that confession breaks down the very real walls between us and others and the very imaginary walls between us and God.

When I used to hide who I really was, all of the friendships I had with folks were on the surface. They had to be on the surface because that's all they knew of me. The people I had "friendships" with didn't like "me", they liked whatever persona I decided to project to them. And I had quite a few. There was my "Christian Persona", my "Work Persona", my "Husband Persona", my "Tough Guy Persona". The people I had "friendships" with couldn't like me because I kept who I really was very well hidden. I was no better off for gaining "friendship" or acceptance for my fake persona - and actually I was worse off. Now that I had a "friendship", I had to constantly work at keeping up and accurately projecting the fake persona! And once I'd been in a "friendship" for a while, it was too strange to drop the pretenses and reveal the "real me" - whatever that was......What a tired, ridiculous and stressful bondage! To avoid all this mess I just avoided other Christians for the most part. I justified my isolation from Christians by saying that they're up-tight, "uppity" and judgmental (judging them to be judgmental - what irony). Little did I know that really good Christian people had struggled, or were still struggling with, some of the exact same things I was struggling with. Little did I know the unbelievable wisdom, guidance, encouragement, acceptance, grace and love that was waiting for me.

Through confession there's beginning to be a consistency between who I really am and what I allow others to see. Through confession I'm loosing the need to project anything. Confession is setting me free from the energy draining stress of "keeping up appearances" and always having to be "on". Confession is setting me free from the self doubt that's rooted in my fear of ridicule and rejection. Self doubt that caused me to have low self esteem. Self doubt that caused me to hide who I really am from others. Self doubt and low self esteem - two satanic things that severely limits the ways in which God is able to use me. Two things that make receiving God's grace difficult, if not impossible for me. Confession has helped usher me into the Throne Room of Grace. By confessing my sins, I'm reminded of how much I completely rely on God's glorious grace.

Do you know what criminals, who have been on the run, do once they've finally been caught? They sleep. They express how glad they are the running is finally over. They don't care who knows the truth about what they did. Many wish they'd just confessed and turned themselves in when they committed the crime. The constant stress of "being found out" or "caught" had them in constant and complete bondage.

Confession sets us free from the bondage of worrying that we might "get caught" or that we'll be "found out". It ushers us into God's grace, forgiveness and rest.

Matthew 11: 28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."